Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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