I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
