Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
