I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
