I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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