Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
