I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
