i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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