I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
