he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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