With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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