shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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