I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Ladies don't puke and tell
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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