He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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