I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Randomize
