I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
