Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
