Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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