some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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