I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We're too hungover to prance.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
