remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
