my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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