did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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