I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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