dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
