Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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