He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
