I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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