Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
