I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So many bounce houses so little time
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
