Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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