I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize