i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
