Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
