we're blogging at a bar
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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