I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
