Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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