I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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