I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
