I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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