So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize