we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
