i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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