Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
