Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize