like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
