brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
