oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
