on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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