Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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