You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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