The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
How external is "for external use only"?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Randomize