bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
