I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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