I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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