i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize