I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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