so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
