just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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