no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
