There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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