so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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