Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
