You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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