The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
