o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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