Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
