His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Of course I have a pirate flag
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
