dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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