Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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