Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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