Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
