tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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