I showed him my bush... on skype.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
nutella sex= disaster
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
