he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
